Unpacking Wellbeing: Understanding the Skepticism

By Tyler's Trouvailles

In a world that thrives on hustle and bustle, the concept of wellbeing often takes a backseat as it's easy to fall into the trap of assuming that those who promote wellbeing are immune to life's challenges or untouched by the darker aspects of life. The person who always has a smile on their face and advocates for self-care seems to have everything figured out. Wrong. Behind the smiles and the optimism lies a deeper truth – the struggle to deal with the battles that are often invisible to the eye, in-hand with a mindset of acceptance and willingness to deal with the processes of life experiences and the emotions of which they stir. If you find yourself among the "anti-wellbeing" crowd, those who view it as vague, irrelevant or even as a mere form of escapism or selfish procrastination, it's time to delve into the real essence of this journey – one that involves facing our vulnerabilities, trauma and needs, to lead to both healing and empowerment.

Beyond the Buzzwords

When modern life is increasingly saturated with catchphrases, trends and even hashtags, it’s easy to reduce wellbeing to just another buzzword. Nor is wellbeing just about bubble baths and positive affirmations… though I do LOVE a bubble bath! It’s a dynamic state that encompasses your physical health, mental clarity, emotional resilience and social connections. In essence, it’s about achieving a balance in all areas of your life. Picture it as the gears in a well-oiled machine; when each part functions optimally, the entire system thrives. Ironic really, as society and our routines often rely on us to be machine-like, we can refine that. We have all been victim to days where our mood, even just one small inconvenience, has navigated the course of our day and we write it off as a ‘bad day’, when in fact it was potentially just a ‘bad’ five minutes. Yet, instead of processing the emotion or experience we use it as an excuse. Some of us choose to let that influence our social interactions, emotions and mental clarity for the entire day, week and so on. Wellbeing is a reminder that life is multifaceted and each facet deserves our attention and care, requiring intentionality and a willingness to engage with the full spectrum of our experiences.

The skepticism surrounding wellbeing often arises from a combination of factors. In a world that glorifies productivity and achievements, the idea of setting aside time for self-care and self-love can be seen as counterproductive- a constant fight between ourselves. Moreover, the portrayal of wellbeing as a constant state of happiness can create the impression that those who prioritise it just go through life as if they are on some kind of cloud, a world away from the rest of us. The societal pressure to always be “on” and the fear of being labeled as lazy or self-indulgent further contributes to this skepticism. People may also project their own fears onto the concept of wellbeing, fearing that confronting their emotions or prioritising self-care might unveil vulnerabilities they’re not ready to face. It’s important to acknowledge these concerns and misconceptions while emphasising that wellbeing isn’t about avoidance; it’s about building resilience and thriving in the face of life’s complexities.

Reasons Behind Skepticism: Unraveling the Layers

Skepticism toward wellbeing can stem from a range of underlying factors that reflect the complexity of human psychology and societal norms. Understanding these reasons can shed light on the challenges individuals face in embracing the concept of wellbeing.

1. Fears of Facing Trauma, Vulnerability and Change:

Fear is in all of us. It can play a complex role in our overall wellbeing, a concept often met with skepticism. While some skeptics might argue that fear is merely a negative emotion to be avoided, there’s a growing understanding that fear, in moderation, can actually be beneficial in identifying and responding to potential threats. Notably, excessive or chronic fear can lead to anxiety and stress, negatively impacting mental and physical health. We fear this fear, right? Striking a balance between acknowledging fear as a protective mechanism while managing its potential harm is crucial for maintaining a healthy sense of wellbeing.

Unearthing past traumas can not only be an intimidating prospect, but the thought of resurfacing painful memories when you think you’ve somewhat forgotten about your trauma may seem like a form of avoidable, self-inflicted pain. The process of addressing trauma requires courage and a support system, which some might not feel equipped to navigate. It may seem easier to ‘put it in a box’ and hope it gets easier to carry over time, but simply trying to forget about it is not processing it- the box will only get heavier and often trip you up at a time that you thought you were over it. Making the decision to face trauma is the greatest step, you owe it to yourself. Embracing wellbeing often involves being vulnerable and acknowledging areas where we need growth. Many of us grow up perceiving vulnerability as a weakness, something we need to work on, something that just isn’t ‘right’. No one wants to admit all the things they can’t do or are weak in, so they avoid it, lie about it or just pretend their vulnerabilities do not exist.

Vulnerability can be unsettling for those who are accustomed to maintaining a facade of strength so the fear of being perceived as weak or inadequate deters individuals from opening up to the possibility of change. Again, another uncomfortable prospect for many. Wellbeing often requires breaking out of comfort zones and adopting new habits. Change can be intimidating, as it brings uncertainty and challenges. One of the key things to remember about change is accepting that it is okay to not be the same person you were yesterday, last month, or even five years ago. Life is evolutionary- that is the beauty of it. Equally, there is a perception that if you have to change, it means you are doing something wrong- the need to always be better. This resonates with me. But instead of feeling like you’re not good enough (a fear of extrinsic opinions and influence), shift this to believe there is a different, healthier and potentially easier way to feel more motivated, productive or even achieving something you never knew you were capable of (intrinsic fuelling). Prioritising your wellbeing and journey of becoming whatever you want to be, but equally everything you don’t want to be, for you and only you- you are the only person you have no choice but to spend your life with.

2. Societal Pressures and Stigma Surrounding Mental Health:

We live in a culture that places immense value on success, achievement and appearances. We are made to believe that everything we see on the outside is perfect, seamless, the dream, often with disregard to the experiences, efforts and emotions that led to it. People are often afraid that prioritising wellbeing might be viewed as an admission of failure or inability to cope. Despite progress, there remains a stigma around mental health and seeking emotional support. A topic so detrimental to the future, yet so poorly viewed by many. There is much hesitance to engage in wellbeing practices because people worry about being labeled as “broken” or “unstable.” This stigma can hinder their ability to seek the necessary help and resources. The pressure to maintain a flawless exterior can prevent us from seeking help or making these positive changes. Equally, misinformation about what wellbeing entails can contribute to skepticism. If someone associates wellbeing solely with luxurious spa treatments or indulgent leisure, they might dismiss it as impractical or irrelevant to their lives.

Societal norms and cultural expectations play a significant role in shaping attitudes toward wellbeing. In some cultures, prioritising one’s own needs might be viewed as selfish, especially for women who often bear the responsibility of caretaking. These norms can discourage individuals from investing time and effort in their own wellbeing because it is so engrained that their purpose is to be everything to everyone else first. How much more productive and happier would we be if we felt valued and took the time to listen to ourselves first? What grounding would that set for future generations? Would there be such a high need for intervention if we all just took a step back to analyse the initial cause of many of struggles?

As social beings (some of us), sharing personal struggles or engaging in wellbeing practices comes with the realisation that exposure leads to judgment from others. As someone who constantly thinks and overthinks about others’ opinions, the fear of being scrutinised or ridiculed can deter them from seeking help or incorporating wellbeing into our lives. Acknowledging that, working on it and shifting your mindset is the only way to make that lighter. After a while, you begin to see that we are all just trying to work out life in our own way and allowing someone else to define you and your journey is just an absolute no.

3. Misconceptions, Perceived Complexities and Lack of Time:

The amount of times I have heard ‘I’m just too busy’, ‘You must have so much time on your hands’, ‘You must be bored’ as a disregard for my efforts and perspective on mental health is heartbreaking to comprehend. There’s a notion leading to the belief that there’s no time for self-care or wellbeing practices. The perception that these practices are too time-consuming or complex, discouraging individuals from exploring their benefits. The reality is… we are all ‘busy’ BUT we all have the same number of hours in a day. It is all about prioritisation. I don’t have endless hours, I just choose to spend them writing, travelling or pursuing my visions. We all have responsibilities and commitments but we have choice too. That’s the thing, wellbeing is a commitment, a lifelong commitment to yourself. If you don’t prioritise it, no one else is going to do it for you.

Nonetheless, no one says it is going to be easy either. That’s why the smallest step in the right direction (the smaller habits) is where it all begins. The resistance in fearing the unknown or the perceived effort required to make lasting changes is enough to put many people off from the onset. That’s a choice you have to make. Investing time and effort in self-care can start at taking just 10 minutes to go for a walk which can set a positive tone for the entire day: enhancing your efficiency and overall performance by boosting your energy levels and reducing stress. The reality of self-care can really be that simple. Wellbeing doesn’t have to involve complex rituals or convoluted routines, you don’t need to meditate for hours or overhaul your entire lifestyle. It can start with small, manageable steps. It can be as simple as spending quality time with loved ones, taking time out in nature or practicing gratitude. For example, maintaining a journal where you have the opportunity to reflect can shift your focus towards the positive aspects of life or spending a few minutes each day engaging in activities you enjoy.

Closing thoughts...

Wellbeing isn’t about pretending to be happy all the time; it’s about acknowledging life’s challenges and finding ways to navigate them with resilience. It’s not a selfish pursuit; it’s a selfless commitment to being the best version of yourself, for yourself and those around you. So, to the skeptics who perceive wellbeing as a form of escapism or a luxury, it’s time to redefine your understanding. Wellbeing is a journey that requires strength, vulnerability and the courage to face life’s complexities. It’s a path that transforms lives, not by avoiding challenges, but by embracing them with unwavering resilience. Remember, your wellbeing journey isn’t about escaping reality – it’s about enhancing it.

When someone dedicates themselves to making a difference in the realm of wellbeing, it’s a commitment that runs deep. It’s driven by a passion to help others lead more fulfilling lives, to destigmatise the pursuit of self-care and to create a world where mental, emotional and physical health are equally valued. This commitment goes beyond personal gains; it’s a call to uplift those who may be silently struggling and to pave the way for a healthier, more empathetic society. Those who champion wellbeing pour their hearts into raising awareness, sharing insights and advocating for positive change. Their efforts are a testament to their belief in the transformative power of prioritising self-care and personal growth. It’s important to recognise and support these endeavours rather than shutting them down or making individuals feel insignificant. A kind word, a listening ear or a show of appreciation can go a long way in fuelling their passion and inspiring them to continue their meaningful work. After all, the journey to wellbeing is a collective one and every effort, no matter how small, contributes to the greater cause of a healthier, happier world for all. Here’s to championing wellbeing- a commitment to making a difference.